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During the holiday season, everybody’s schedule is thrown off its usual course. Schools break for winter recess, many companies give workers half days and days off, and holiday parties and other social obligations interrupt established schedules. Balancing a parenting plan with these interruptions can be challenging for parents, especially during one’s first holiday season since his or her divorce. The holiday season can be less stressful for children and families if parents communicate early and work together to be flexible when necessary. Handling the holidays is part of a successful co-parenting strategy. Below are a few guidelines to follow with your former partner. Have a Plan in Place Beforehand Talk about how you will handle the holidays far in advance. Many parents include holiday schedules in their custody orders and follow these patterns in the years that follow. For some parents, the most effective way to handle the holidays is to alternate them. For example, Parent A spends Thanksgiving with the children and Parent B spends Christmas with them one year, then Parent B spends Thanksgiving with the children and Parent A spends Christmas with them the following year. For other parents, spending specific parts of each holiday with the children every year works best. In this scenario, the parents might alternate which part of the day is spent with the children each year or simply follow the same schedule every year. For parents who celebrate different holidays, dividing up the holidays can be easy. This can also be done with holidays that both parents celebrate, but feel differently about. For example, if one parent celebrates Halloween and the other does not care about the holiday, the couple might agree that the children should spend each Halloween with the parent who has established Halloween traditions. Be Willing to be Flexible Just like all other aspects of a co-parenting schedule, successfully navigating the holidays requires parents to be flexible with each other and their schedules. Sometimes, holiday plans are thrown off course – a snowstorm can make travel impossible or a relative from out of town might be late to a celebration. Being flexible can mean compromising and finding ways to make up for “missed time” later. Communicate with your Former Partner In a co-parenting relationship, effective communication is important at all times. Communication is what makes flexibility and compromise possible. If you anticipate having to deviate from your established schedule, tell your former partner ahead of time. Discuss expectations for the holidays during your pre-holiday planning. Talk about budgets for children’s gifts and specific gifts for them so your child does not end up with “doubles.” Work with a Denver Child Custody Lawyer to Follow your Custody Order Although you should be willing to be flexible with your child’s schedule during the holidays, do not allow your former partner to abuse this flexibility in order to repeatedly violate your custody order. If you face difficulties maintaining your order as it is written, discuss these difficulties with an experienced family lawyer to determine the most effective way to handle the situation. Or, if you need assistance moving forward with a separation, don’t hesitate to contact an attorney to learn more about your divorce options in Colorado.
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