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Once you have decided to end your marriage, the prospect of discussing your impending divorce with your children can be quite uncomfortable. Many parents feel overwhelmed at the thought of talking to their children about their divorces, causing them to put it off, and put it off, until they are at a point where the children are shortchanged by having too little time to process the information they do eventually get about the divorce. If you are a parent preparing for the divorce process, start talking to your children about your divorce now and don’t hesitate to reach out to a Denver child support and child custody attorney for help. Keep it Age Appropriate Consult internet guides or your pediatrician about how to approach the topic of divorce with your children based on their ages. At different development stages, children understand different things about divorce. If your children have a significant age gap, consider taking time to speak with each of them individually after initially announcing your divorce. You might want to share information with your older child that your younger child would not understand or benefit from receiving. Talk to your Children Together if Possible There are two ways you should have these discussions together: with all of your children together and with both parents at once, rather than one parent breaking news of the divorce to the children alone. Although these scenarios are ideal, they are not always possible – if you cannot cooperatively work with your partner to have these discussions, you will need to have them alone. Before you discuss your divorce with your children, work with your partner to plan the conversation. Talk about how you will handle specific questions that you anticipate your children asking and how you will frame the discussion and proceed through it. Presenting a unified front will make it easier for your child to digest the information you give him or her about your divorce and help you avoid conflicts with your spouse during and after these discussions. Focus your Discussions on the Future Rather than dwelling on the reasons for your divorce or getting into hypothetical discussions about what could have happened differently or what you could potentially do in the future, talk to your children about what the divorce means for them in the immediate future and in the coming months and year. Talk about where you each will live and the custody schedule your children will follow while your divorce is pending. When your children ask questions, give them concrete answers if you have them. Do not be afraid to tell your child that you do not know the answer to one of his or her questions. Talk to an Experienced Family Lawyer First to Make these Conversations and Co-Parenting More Productive Your lawyer can help you prepare to talk to your children about your divorce by walking you through the divorce process. This way, you will have answers for some of the questions your child will ask, even if those answers are about when you will have the information you cannot provide just yet.
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