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When parents divorce, the court usually creates a custody order that gives their children a fair, consistent amount of time with each parent. Unless one parent poses a danger to the child in some way, it is in the child’s best interest to maintain a relationship with both parents in the years after their divorce. Co-parenting is not always easy. How easy it is for you and your former partner depends largely on your personalities, particularly your willingness to comply with court orders and cooperate with each other. Communication and flexibility are key to a successful co-parenting relationship. Consider working with a counselor who specializes in divorce-related issues to develop productive conflict resolution and communication strategies. Like anything else, there are pros and cons to having a co-parenting relationship. Below are a few issues to consider and plan around. Pro: Your Child Maintains a Consistent Relationship with Both Parents When you have a parenting plan, your child gets to spend time with each parent consistently. Time with each parent often means time with relatives on that parent’s side, being exposed to values and perspectives that he or she would not experience without having a quality relationship with that parent. Con: You Cannot Move without Permission In many states, parents with parenting plans may not move beyond a certain distance without consent from the child’s other parent or court approval. This can mean staying in a specific area until your child turns 18, which can keep you from pursuing opportunities elsewhere. Pro: Co-Parents Share the Challenges of Parenthood A single parent has to face all the challenges of parenthood alone, such as:
Co-parents share these challenges and support each other as they work through the stressful parts of parenthood. Con: Parents who Cannot Cooperate Harm their Children Psychologically Co-parenting only works when parents can interact in an amicable, respectful way. When children are exposed to parents shouting at each other, arguing, belittling each other, and attempting to undermine each others’ parenting, the children can suffer emotionally. Having a poor relationship with your child’s other parent can make a co-parenting relationship difficult, but your poor relationship with your former partner should not impede your child’s relationship with him or her. If your former partner refuses to be civil, refuse to engage at his or her level. Instead, treat the relationship like a business partnership. If your former partner’s behavior reaches the point of harming your child or violating your custody order, speak with your lawyer about your options. An Experienced Denver Child Custody and Child Support Attorney can Help you Develop an Effective Co-Parenting Plan Your custody order is the backbone of your co-parenting plan. How you communicate with your former partner and face the challenges of raising your children cooperatively, rather than together, will have a significant impact on your children’s well being. For tips and guidance on maintaining a healthy co-parenting relationship with your former partner, talk to your family lawyer.
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